Autumn Sunset, Portland OR 2017

What Living Intentionally Means

I had the best of intentions when I started a blog three years ago. As a matter of fact, I had visualized an amazing career as a blogger, writing hundreds of interesting stories about everything in life. I envisioned my daily routine: up each morning early, laptop at the ready, my fingers flowing easily and quickly across the keyboard creating stories, opinion pieces and thoughts to be shared with the hundreds, no, thousands of readers who would eagerly await my next post.

I even pictured myself going through all the comments people would make for each article, taking the positive and negative feedback, you know, being totally professional in addressing replies. It was going to be great as my voice joined other prominent voices in cyberspace to enlighten and delight the world.

Reality quickly set in as I discovered that few, if anyone, bothered to read my posts. Even my closest family and friends managed to find other things to do than read my blog. I will admit that I was consistent for one month only; not enough time to build much of anything, I know. Somehow I had just expected overnight success. When it did not happen, I became frustrated to the point that I was ready to give it up.

It is little wonder then, that my posts for 2015 averaged one every other month. Not ready to throw in the towel, I recommitted myself, so that by the end of 2016 I had published a whopping 30 posts, thanks in part to a writing challenge I joined. This sort of thing was a nice prompt for me, but it became a source of anxiety and frustration mostly because I didn’t care very much for some of the prompts (write about the first object you see, which happened to be a salt shaker); so writing became less fun and more like a chore.

Here I am, two months into 2019, and I find myself just inches from where I was in 2016. What happened in the last three years? Where did I get so far off track? I still got up early, but wasn’t writing. Instead, I had subscribed to countless personal development, writing and career sites, all of which were well and good, with the intention of using the information to move my career forward faster than I had been seeing it move. I downloaded books, signed up for courses and I still was not getting anywhere. What I discovered, though, was at the end of two hours — very early hours — my mind had been bombarded with strategies, hints, inspirations about creating a better me, as well as a better writer. What it didn’t do was move me to action.

Half way through 2017, with no successes to bolster me, I managed to find ways to not even get out of bed early. It wasn’t that I didn’t think about it — goodness knows I was awake — I thought about getting up to start writing or working on priorities for my health coach business, but then thought it was pointless because I had nothing to write, and it was far too early to deal with my health coach business. I convinced myself that I would be able to write later in the day or reach out to my clients -when I might be more inspired.

Rather than focusing on how the year been a waste and that I am an utter failure, I have been thinking about what needs to happen to get me out of this funk. As a health and wellness coach, I know that there is a strong, almost indestructible connection between the body, the mind and our financial states. There are times when we just need to take that step back (or outside of ourselves) and figure out where the derailment occurred.

For me, it is that I had no clear idea about what I expected from myself. I had these great visual dreams but didn’t believe that they could ever be realized. I know now that my dreams of being a successful health coach, joining with other coaches to truly “Get America Healthy,” as well as becoming an exceptional writer are within my grasp. I just need to do the work.

Certified Health Coach and freelance writer, striving to do what really matters in life…one day at a time.

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