Barbara Cleary
2 min readMay 3, 2021

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One of the things that is overlooked is the comparative reality that gets in the way of progress (or maintenance), be it weight loss, career, finances, whatever.

As difficult as it is to get out of that mindset, I believe it is critical for us should we choose to solidify how we want to see ourselves.

Having been the "short, dumpy one" for lots of years, when I finally committed to bring myself to a healthy weight, losing 35 pounds in 4 months, it was an incredible experience.

You articulated much of what I experienced in the journey. Thank you.

What I have discovered since that time is that I had to learn to wall-off all the comments, both positive and negative. "You look great" v "When are you going to stop losing weight; are you anorexic?" were comments I frequently heard, and it took a great deal of effort to keep in mind that I needed to see me for me, and not let others dictate my perception of myself. That was their comparative reality, not mine.

The other thing I learned is that being where I want to be on the scale is much easier when the rhythm in my life is consistent. Life intervening in the form of major changes to those who are a continual presence in my life have contributed to a bit of a backslide for me, but I am making adjustments and getting back on track.

It is totally true that we are like the five people closest to us. I do so much better when I am around positive people who make choices in line with mine, as I am certain most people do.

Thanks again for the read.

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Barbara Cleary
Barbara Cleary

Written by Barbara Cleary

Catholic wife/mom/Nan to four grandchildren. Writing about my faith, and life in a chaotic multigenerational home while trying to see the humor in it all.

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